I just havent been in the mood to write for the last 3 weeks.

My brother in law, Lit, died of liver cancer late September. He was 42 and a month short of his 43rd birthday. He had fought the illness for 4 good years before surrendering. His last days were heavy in my family as we loved him so dearly. But he faced reality with refreshing courage and candidcy never allowing it to run his life, treating it as if it were a common flu despite the ordeals of chemotheraphy and finally the slow painful build up of toxins in his body after his liver failed.

I held his cold hands in his final hours whispering in his ears desperate words of encouragement 'Lit, I know its cold where you are now.....we're with you all the way and we're walking with you'

The wake lasted 5 days on the void deck below his apartment. We're a small family of mostly women.....my wife and her 2 sisters and mother-in -law. The only men in the family was my 2 other brother in laws Luuk from Holland, and Milton. The greiving Nepalese Buddhist rituals aside, we determined that this was going to be a smiling funeral.....something that Lit would have dearly wanted. Beer.....lots of beer was stashed and consumed.

We spent the evenings sitting near to Lit speaking of good times, funny situations and all the shit we'd been through together. We even set aside a place of honor amongst us and opened a ceremonial can of beer for him.

Durians were one of Lit's favorite fruits. This fruit that stinks to high heavens would surely be banned from the netherworld. So we bought some of that too and 'fed' some of it to him.....'Where ever you're going, durians will surely be banned.....so you better 'eat' it now before you really go' The Buddhists believe one's soul will linger on earth amongst us for a week before making their final journey to the other side....

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Spent Saturday evening 18th October shooting for Cindy's yoga website. This was my first time shooting in a studio environment and I was awed with the equiptment.

One softbox on the right, one Elinchrome strobe near the backdrop to the left and a couple of 7 foot reflectors looked 'complicated' (you studio shooters shaddup, I know its basic to you, wait till you shoot on the streets.....I'll be waiting for you then!)

A digital Fuji S2 pro with a wireless flash trigger attached was plonked into my arms and my first question to Lance was 'err..Where's the shutter release button?' Lance sucks in his breath and gives me a 10 minute run down on how the lights and camera worked. Geez, you mean I have TOTAL control over the lights?

Lance looks worried as he's got to leave and pick up his girlfriend and leave me alone in the studio with the model. He sets up everything 'just right' and idiot-proofed the lighting.

'GOOD LUCK!' I think he actually meant it.

I enjoyed shooting with the digital slr. I could review every shot before we moved on to the next. We ended up with about 500 useable images after 3 sets of battery changes, 3 laden CF cards and 6 hours of shooting.

Proudly putting up one of the images in the forum....... I got comments like 'lighting's too strong from the left' 'backdrop's not pure white' 'her skin's unevenly lit' etc etc etc...... did I really screw up the shoot or were these guys totally anal? I think its somewhere in between as I didnt really get very creative with the lighting, not daring to move a single reflector, strobe nor softbox.

I almost freaked out when Lance's expensive Elinchrome died for no apparent reason. Lance was half way across the country when I called 'hey...uhmm...your strobe?.....its kind of... err....not working' Minutes later he walks in, trying to look calm, presses a few buttons on the unit. 'I SWEAR I didnt touch a thing Lance. It just.... stopped' He doesnt even look at me or say a word. Uh-oh.

After a few moments that seemed like 2 days, he pulls out a little tube and we look at it. 'It looks like a blown fuse' 'Yeah sure looks like it' a quick run to the 7-11 store down the street and with a new 50 cent fuse in place, the baby's firing on all cylinders again. Whew!!!! Lance looks relieved 'I knew it was just the fuse'

Yeah Lance, me too....heh heh heh.

I'm sure he cleaned off the shit in his pants after the session.....I did.

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I sold my year old Canon G3 for SGD$600 and traded up to an all black 5 meg G5. It looks good. I set the exposure compensation to -1/3 EV and taped down the Canon advertisings with black tape. This has got to be one of the sweetest stealth digital street shooting machines on the market today.

I also felt much more comfortable with a brand new 12 month warranty in my pocket.

After 2 days of testing, it passes with flying colors just as long as I shoot at ISO 50 or 100.

NOBODY noticed the black G5 (especially with the screen flipped out and the camera pointed 90 degrees to one side) even when it was barely 2 feet away from subjects.

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Indonesian photo forum fotografer.net flew 2 really sweet models from Bandung, Java into Singapore for a day-long photo rally on Sunday 19 Oct for its Singapore-based members for a day of outdoor shoots.

It was fun as the 13 of us had the company of 2 absolutely gorgeous 20 year olds all decked out in traditional Sarong Kebaya (Baju Indonesia). I've never seen 2 nonyas (ladies) as beautifully presented as this pair.

I was in heaven....the night before I had my first studio shoot with a superbly beautiful model and hours later I'm shooting 2 exotic beauties.....never in my wildest dreams.

I mean, almost all my subjects prior to this past weekend had been either below 10 or above 60 years old. I'd never had the opportunity to shoot sweet young beautiful things all my life until now..... I'm in heaven.

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I'll be in Hong Kong this Wed 22 Oct through Sunday 26 Oct with my wife and little girl. Its going to be hell for me...... carrying all the shopping bags, trolley and my 3 year old. The camera bag's staying at home with the Leica and the Contax G2. This is the situation meant for the Lowepro Sliplock Pouch, Canon G5, a couple of CF cards and a plastic table top tripod...... an outfit weighing barely a SINGLE kilo.

Watch out for a Hong Kong image gallery to be set up here by next week.

Hong Kong is supposed to be camera heaven too..... and I'll be looking forward to 4 days of cheap beer!!!

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9 hrs before checking in at Changi Airport..... I put the Leica M6 into my shoulder bag.......8 hrs 50 mins before checking in at Changi Airport...... I take out the Leica M6 from my shoulder bag..........8 hrs 45 minutes before checking in at Changi Airport...... I put the Leica M6 into my shoulder bag........ its been FUCKING going on all night....... putting a film camera in the camera bag and then taking it out again minutes later.......

Leaving behind the M6 or the Contax G2 for a 5 day trip is almost like getting my penis amputated........ its too painful!!!!!

What if...??? But should I....??? And then again....???? I'm breaking out into a constant cold sweat at the thought of leaving town with 'only' a gig's worth of CF cards and a 5 mp Canon G5. Away in a strange land without a film camera.... is like an addict leaving home without his favorite opium pipe(s)

God if You are hearing..... give me the strength to walk out that door and into the taxi tomorrow morning ...... without my Tri-x, without my HP5. I'm on the verge of breaking down!!!!! The cool me trying to con myself and you guys that it dont matter if we shoot digital or film .....just as long as we bring back the images that count......me.....Mr Social Anthropologist.....I'm entrenched in fear of being without my security blanket.

I'm such a useless, hypocritical, full-of-shit, idiot......unable to practice what I preach....... where'd I put that bottle of scotch? I need a drink.......and I NEED FILM !!!!!!

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