Arriving back in Singapore after 2 weeks away in Hong Kong, China, Vietnam and Thailand, I noticed little things about my country that I'd seldom noticed and often taken for granted.

1. the humidity here in Singapore IS stifiling
2. the roads seem a little too clean and manicured
3. everyone speaks English

I'd not read the papers nor watched much news on TV at all for 14 days and it felt good to be ignorant of what's happening in town. Found out that there's a worldwide panic on a new super-flu and that influenza shots were all sold out here. Having returned from 'difficult' environments, it just struck me as people here seem to be getting paranoid over a flu bug.

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So apart from extensive beer tasting, what did I bring back with me from 2 weeks of travels?

I learnt more about myself in a few ways. Looking back, I realized what a conservative sheep I was.

I unconsiously checked 4 to 5 different parties on lodging in China BEFORE I even arrived in a city. That was safe, but unexciting. After the 3rd day of assured/guaranteed/no-miss quality lodging, I determined that I would not make ANY hotel reservations.

I checked out of my shitty mold-colony room in the Minghua Hotel which I overpaid for through the internet and took a cab looking for a more 'local' inn in Nanning....and I did find one along Chaoyang Rd for 140 rmb a night (I paid 300rmb at Minghua) with a dim sum breakfast thrown in.

Same thing in another small town called Pingxiang. Stepped off the train without a clue where I was going to stay... I hailed a 3-wheeler moto and headed into town going from inn to inn checking rooms for half an hour until I found a great place with hot showers and clean sheets for 90rmb a night (Sin Si Ji Hotel) Well...they did charge me 50rmb for a cigarette hole I acidentally burnt in their carpet.

I'm also always so paranoid about making sure I dont miss my connecting flights, transits and all. In China, its always a matter of going to the ticket counter an hour or two before the estimated departure time to secure a seat.... not a choice but often a practice. I got my seats all the time despite my own worries.

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Crossing into Vietnam by land at Puzhai, I pushed it a little too far and decided to play cheapskate and take a motorcycle taxi into town where a couple of clients were waiting for a meeting. I smirked to myself as I gloated over the $5 I'd just saved by not taking a regular taxi cab at the checkpoint.

I'd not gotten more than 500m from the checkpoint when a group of thugs on motocycles forced my moto driver and me off the road. They whipped out nasty looking knives and switchblades. My life flashed before my mind's eyes.....was this it? Were they going to knife me and leave me dead by the road?

The bulk of my cash was stuffed in my underwear (so dont go round sniffing foreign currency notes I might show you in future) with about $100 in my pants pockets. I handed this over quick without even them asking for it. They asked for my handphone....I took it out of my shirt pocket. They took one look at the ancient thing and told me to keep it! Gee, these guys were picky muggers! I almost took offence but since it was a mugging in progress, I'd let it slide.....just this once.

Within a minute of the hold up, they'd zipped off leaving my driver and myself. I got off lucky.....my camera equiptment was still with me!

Not daring to proceed anymore with a 2 wheeler, I went back to the check-point and sheepishly got into a regular cab in shame. The cabbies all had this "I told you so" look on their faces. They upped the fare into town by 20% and they knew I'd pay.....I paid for the safe passage.

"No worry mister! You safe wif me!" as we pulled out onto the mainroad into town half an hour away. A couple of miles down the road with nothing except dense jungle on either side of the road, he gave me a heart attack..."I have AK-47 and Colt!" as he whipped out the assult rifle from beside him and showed me a Vietnam War era US Army issue Colt 45 in his glove compartment. I'd just faced a wall of knives, now in the cab I was facing guns. This was just not my day. Would this Mother blow me away?

"No worry mister! I licensed with Border Control. Me driver and body guard!"

I NEVER faced any of this shit in Cambodia ...... and it was supposed to have more of a 'cowboy' reputation than fast developing Vietnam!

China felt safe and inviting after my half day detour into Vietnam.

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With Christmas and the New Year round the corner, I just could not get my family on any flights out of Singapore for a holiday. So we're driving up to Malaysia for a 5 day drive holiday with my wife and little girl and a couple of my wife's cousin Cindy and her girlfriend.

Hope to spend some time in Malacca and Pangkor Island.

With a car, I'm sorely tempted to haul along a few more cameras than normal. But knowing my wife, I'd be a pram tropper most of the trip, so I'll just bring along the digital camera, the G2 rangefinder and a 6x9 medium format outfit.

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The Singapore cybercafe story's complete and on its way to Xiamen Airline's office, pictures and all. Gan, the article's writer (its in Chinese) had a hell of a time liasing between the airline and me as I cant read Chinese and they cant understand English. When published, it should also be the first time I cant read an article in which my images appear.

Funny thing about our compensation....we dont know how much we'll get paid for it. Well, live and learn. I just hope it wont turn out to be one elaborate con job by the airline to get free content.

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Wife's been packing all night for our short family holiday into Malaysia, too bad the car cant accomodate our bathtub and microwave oven. We're headed for a tropical island (Pangkor) in the Straits of Malacca but we're prepared for that trillion in one chance that it snows, hails, floods and/or civil/nuclear war breaks out all over the next 5 days.

Guess who gets to play the pack mule.

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Just got home in time for X'mas eve and its good to be back after 5 days in various parts of Malaysia.

We'd spent a night in Malacca, a night in Pangkor Island and a couple of nights in KL. We were supposed to have stayed on Pangkor for 3 nights but the ladies could only handle that much peace and quiet .....thus the 2 nights in Malaysia's capital at the expense of Pangkor......I'll be back to Pangkor with camera and fishing gear....without the womenfolk.

No laughing matter carrying all the luggage on board a packed ferry.

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Picked up a great photo joke from Renegade in Clubsnap...

"The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
"Oh my god!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult ?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."

"Tripod??", Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now.

"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action.

Madam? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!!"

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to be continued......
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