Women just don?t understand us Men.

At 90kg, grossly overweight, my doctor?s mantra to me over the past 10 years have been ?exercise, exercise and more exercise? and ?watch your diet!? My wife makes it her mission in life to see that the doctor?s advise is religiously executed.

Healthy eating and exercise have been my sentence, er? regime, for the past 6 years and yes I?d admit its paid off?.somewhat. I?m a proud 89kg today!

Being so focused on my health, my wife lets me get away with everything else, including my passion in photography. Thus, I?ve been blessed with a relatively easy-going financial controller (yes, that?s her other job) as long as the money didn?t go towards feeding myself.

I?d picked up cameras and accessories that could last 3 lifetimes and it?d be OK with her.

Until that fateful day when my brain disconnected from human sensibilities?.

?darling?..we?ve been married now for what?..6 years and what?d you think about celebrating our anniversary Saturday evening at this new French restaurant that?d just opened by the beach?? she purred into my ear.

Stupidity reigned and I was thinking of the normally tiny amounts of food served at Euro restaurants that I hated with a passion and replied ??..I can?t, me and the boys are headed out to the bridge to shoot the city skyline on Saturday night? and as an afterthought ?but we could pack something at McDonalds if you want to tag along.? My nightmare began with those words?

Our house, in tropical Singapore, felt like it was in the South Pole that night with a cold deadly wind blowing whispering softly in my ears ?you stupid boy, stupid boy, VERY stupid boy?? It was too late and I fell asleep on the couch thinking of how I should save myself the next morning.

?SO! Ed Ng ! Tell me what your top 3 priorities are right now?!!? At 7am in the morning, wifey in the darkness glared down at me in the living room.

?NO NO NO!?you stay right THERE!!!? as I struggled to get up and escape to the bathroom.

?(cough cough)? scrubbing my head ?well?.errr?its Photography, Genna (our daughter), you and God? I mumbled out my prepared response.

?Bzzzzzz!!!! Wrong answer you overweight piece of SH#*!!!? as her hand tried to wrench my right ear from its head. YeeOuuuuchhh!!!

?Once again NOW!? as some steam escapes out her nostrils? not a good sign.

?Honey, that was RANDOM! Did you mean Ranked like?in Order of Importance?? I begged

Out of the corner of my sleepy eyes, I noticed her left hand?. It wasn?t empty. It wasn?t holding a feather duster nor a leather belt.

She had a grip on my Leica M6 with a 35/1.4 still attached. ?God!!! My BABY!!!!? I blurted out without thinking. Big mistake.

?YOUR baby? Oh, you mean?. THIS?? as she held up the love of my life in her hands above her head. ?Oh GOD, NO NO NO!!! This is a prime specimen of German craftsmanship? DON?T!!!?

My mind snapped to immediately as I looked helplessly at my beloved baby, its fate in the hands of a woman spurned.

??now?.now?.alright darling, you win, just put the Leica down?.gently? I begged sincerely almost weeping in plea.

?I know that you and Genna are No. 1 in my life and you know I love you guys so much. I was wrong and stupid and stupid and wrong last night and I mean it. We?ll eat anywhere that pleases you and I really sincerely appreciate all the care and love you?ve shown me all these years. Again, I say, I?m truly sorry for what I said last night? never has Man slobbered as much.

Her hands tire under the weight of the outfit and she almosts let it slip out of her hands ?OH MY GOD NO!? I screamed as she tightened her grip on it at the last second.

?You?re lying?.? she smirked

?OK, ok, I give up. You know how important photography is to me honey. It consumes me and yes I?m obsessed with making good pictures. Isn?t it good to know I?m doing something I love and?.?

Drawing out my Trump Card?

?Wouldn?t you rather see me that obsessed with photography THAN spending time and money on something worse?.like Other Women?? the sorry and simultaneously pitiful smile of an innocent puppy makes an appearance on my face.

?Well, you really hurt me last night with those words about eating at McDonald?s on our anniversary?? She?s on the defensive.

Pushing my advantage forward, I stood up and hugged her close to me?.with one arm?.the other arm already reaching up to wrench Leica away from her fingers.

?I love you darling? I assured her ?forever?? we kissed for a long while making up to one another, with me giving Leica a once over to check for the tiniest marks that might have been left behind from her fingernail. It was still spotless, mint and in one piece. Phew!!! I hugged her tighter and declared truly from the bottom of my heart ?I REALLY love you??(my Leica).?

I?m getting a lock for the camera cabinet when we go shopping for her anniversary ring in the afternoon.

The End

Postscript: The story was completely fictitious but I hope it serves as a candid reminder on where we should place our priorities in our lives admist the quest for that perfect exposure. ?Ed?