10 Pack sweets and candy.....lots of them Great ice-breaker and smile generator.

9 Shoot early morning or Late Afternoon. Catch up on sleep or go shopping between 10am and 3pm....unless you're shooting in shade

8 Bring toilet paper....EVERYWHERE....even in.....excuse me....especially in..... big cities. You can still use leaves out in the woods.... (Sub-rule: forget about setting up your equiptment and tripod.....the first thing to do is to always locate the toilets first! Just try working when you need to use the toilet BAD... and you have no idea where the gents is. The psychological torture will guarantee you works that will barely rise above the category 'shitty')

7 Bring less flim....normally half of what you need. I tend to end up with much more keepers that way when faced with a need to seriously ration flim. Also...."Flim is cheap".....so keep it cheap.

6 SHARE...... always bring along the newbies on trips... if you're good enough, you'll often end up with a free meal or beer out of gratitude ("Gee, Thanks for bringing me along and sharing your Secrets!!! Can I carry your gear too? It'd be an honor!")

5 DONT SHARE....rooms with fellow photographers....you'll end up doing the uncoolest....talking about gear when you could be happily ....a.) sinking a beer while watching the adult movie channel b.) smoking a joint AND sinking that beer c.) going through his 3000 slides that he'd brought along "for conversation"

4 A lens blower is a MUST on any trip...great conversation piece with the ladies. ('that's a NICE squishy ball you have!')

3 When faced with a robber who wants your gear..... give it up to him if he's armed with a gun....otherwise beat the crap out of him with the monopod

2 NEVER ever put on a camera neckstrap. Apart from branding yourself "Geeky Tourist"...a robber's knife slashing away at the neckstrap might just end up accidentally cutting your throat.....turning him instantly from a robber into a murderer

1 Always use old cameras. Apart from making you look cool and retro......you can always blame lousy pictures on the pre-historic equiptment you're using

The End

Postscript: All toungue in cheek and not to be taken seriously (Except Rule #8 about Toilet Paper) Ed